


Angel baby

by Foxysword



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Mention of eating disorder, Mpreg, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-03-30 05:00:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13943115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxysword/pseuds/Foxysword
Summary: One day Carl disappears from home.No evidence if he was kidnapped or ran away.His friends have no clue where he is and his family is devastated.Three years later Rick Grimes deals with struggles with marriage and the stress of his work. Even with his friends trying to help his sons disappearance have effected his life.On the job he deals with drug dealers with no evidence for arrest so he goes undercover. There he discovers the shocking revelation of where his son has been.





	1. Chapter 1

Rick Grimes remembers the day the last time he saw his son.

It started off normal, waking up, getting ready for work, and heading to the kitchen to have breakfast with his family. Lori was feeding Judith, who just turned one that year, and Carl was there eating a bowl of cereal. Thinking back he tried to figure anything different about Carl, but it was the same as every day. There was nothing to suggest that anything could happen. 

He had his morning coffee, kissed Lori and Judith goodbye, and told Carl to have a nice day at school. He remembered Carl's smile as he told him to a good day at work. Work was normal too, nothing out of the ordinary. Just paperwork and doing his routes with Shane. Than he got the phone call.

It was Lori on the phone telling him that she got a call from Carl's school. He didn't show up and he wouldn't pick up his phone when she try to call. It was the first sign that made him worried. Carl never skipped school, he was a good student who never got in trouble. He left work early to try to find him. They lived in a small town so he assumed it wasn't going to be hard to find him. By nightfall his worries turned into horror.

Carl was missing.

Even with the help from his friends, the police department, and the entire town, there was no sign of him. His cellphone was found abandoned at a farm that was not far from there. The owner hadn't seen anything. Carl's friends didn't know anything, Rick was shocked to learn that Carl had stopped speaking to them. They were told by Carl that he was busy and would make up excuses to not hang out with them. It wasn't something they worried as he didn't do it too frequently, just from time to time.

Days turned into weeks, than months, and as soon as Rick realized it has been three years since Carl was last seen. He never wanted to stop looking, even when others had, he still had hope, but as time move forward that hope has dwindled.

* * *

 It's surprising that Rick gets up in the morning.

He did it anyway. As usual he got ready for work and headed towards the kitchen. He sees Lori give Judith her breakfast.

"Morning."

"Morning daddy."

Judith welcomes him with a smile on her face, but Lori stays silent, only giving him a nod. Things between them have changed. They had their problems in the past, but ever since Carl disappeared it made everything worse. They barely speak and when they do it was always a fight. There was one point that Lori got so mad that she blamed him for what happened to Carl, he ended up leaving for two days.

As he got his morning coffee he looked back at Judith. She was now four years old and was such a happy child. He wonder if she remembers Carl, she knows who he was, but she was still a baby when he left she probably didn't remember anything about him. 

Rick thought back when Carl use to take care of Judith. He was such a good brother, he loved her so much as if she was his child. There were times when Rick would go to Carl's room and there were a ton of pictures of both of them. He knew it must be hard for Judith sometimes that both him and Lori aren't always there emotionally. It wasn't that they didn't care about her, but the lost of one child, not knowing if he is dead or alive, takes a toll on everyone.

Rick finished his coffee and started to leave for work. He kissed Judith on the head and try to kiss Lori, but she turned her head so he kiss her cheek.

He arrived at the police station and as he entered he looked around seeing only a few people. He went towards his desk and started his paperwork. No one bothered him the entire day, they stopped talking to him when he didn't interact with them anymore.

"Hey brother."

Rick looked up from his work to see Shane.

"Hi."

Not much was else said as Shane went to his desk. They barely talk anymore, it was so different from a few years ago when they were so close. Rick has no interest anymore to spend time with his friends, let alone talk to them.

 He works while everyone goes on with their day. Moments like these made him so angry. Rick never stopped looking for Carl while others have given up. People had stop after a year, after that Rick couldn't help but hate all of them for it. He couldn't give up if his son was still out there, he didn't care if they try to move on with their lives.

"Grimes, Walsh I need to talk to you both in my office."

Rick got up from his seat and went over the sheriffs office. He knows what this was about.

It was strange to think that a small town like this could be a big location for drug dealers. With getting huge profits from big cities, they must get a lot of attention that they come here to lay low. They would of never known that they were here if it wasn't from warnings from another jurisdiction after a big arrest. It wasn't that they didn't get their fare share of drugs, but not as big as this.

Rick entered the office followed by Shane and inside was the sheriff and a man he didn't recognized. What was very noticeable about him was half his face was scared.

"You are both wondering why called you here. I like to introduce you to Dwight."

The man Dwight just nodded his head at both of him and didn't say anything. He just sat there slouching and barely acknowledging them.

"As you know we've have been having problems with the increase in dealers lately. At first they've been pretty quiet and then last night a body was discovered near by one of the farms. The body still is not recognizable and we would've never known it was them until Dwight came forward. The victim was none other than Merle Dixon."

They remained quiet as they stood still. It was shocking to know that something like that had happened, especially to someone they recognized.

Dwight than stood up, "I can't tell you who was the one who did it or why, but I can tell you that the person in charge is the one you're looking for."

"Now wait just one damn minute, who the hell are you and how are involved in this?" Shane angrily asked. Rick couldn't help but think the same thing as he stared at him.

Dwight looked at them almost nervously as he answered, "I work for them."

"Are you serious, why the hell should we trust you?"

"Officer Walsh stand down. I know how it is, but Dwight here is willing to work with us. You know that there have been an increase in overdoses and now with a murder we have to take what we can."

Rick broke his silence after that, "Sir with all do respect we don't even know who these people are. How do you know we can trust this man?"

"Then don't trust me for now, but we will be working with him for the time being."

Both Rick and Shane didn't want to agree with this, but at the moment they will trust their boss.

"Now this why I wanted to talk with you both. From what I got from Dwight these people aren't just some random group of dealers. They call themselves the Saviors."

"Sir if what you say is true and it is the Saviors, then we are way out of our league. Shouldn't we call the Feds to handle this."

Rick nodded his head agreeing with Shane. The Saviors was brutal gang that most police couldn't handle. There wasn't much known on who these people are and there was never any arrest. The only thing he knows is that they dealt with hard drugs and had a high body count. So it was shocking to hear that a well known group is here in a small town that couldn't be that important.

"Trust me I tried, but a dead body of a felon, the number of overdoses, and the word from someone who might work for them was not enough to convince them."

"So what do you want us to do?" Rick asked as he realized that they were on their own.

The sheriff couldn't help but sigh, "We don't have enough evidence and we don't know who is in that group so I am asking you to do something very risky. Dwight has informed me that the leader of the Saviors is living in the next town. I already talked to the police there and they are willing to work with us. They already know who works in that department so I am asking you both to go undercover."

There was a complete silence as they both processed what they were told. Rick couldn't believe that they were asked of this. They had no experience what so ever of going undercover so he didn't understand why them.

"I want you to keep this to yourselves, but please think this over. I understand that this is a lot asking from both you. Your both dismissed for day."

Rick and Shane nodded as they left the office. Rick went back to his desk and prepared to leave.

"Hey."

Rick looked up at Shane.

"I think we need to talk."

Rick agreed and followed Shane to a private room. When Shane closed the door he looked at Rick.

"So what do you think?"

"I'm not sure, we have never done this before."

"I know, but I think we should do it."

Rick looked at him in shock, "What...where is this coming from?"

"Look just hear me out. It's dangerous I know, but you heard the horror stories about these people. If there is a small chance to stop them, then we have to take it."

Rick shook his head, it sounded crazy. It wasn't that he didn't want to help, but a group like that could risk not only his life but his family too. He heard what they've done to people and seen the pictures. Heads were smashed to a bloody pulp that they were never recognizable. Throats torn off as if they were bitten off by a wild animal. And he didn't want to think about those who had survived. Tortured so badly that they were never recovered, always screaming about some demon woman.

Shane sighed as bowed his head, "I know it's been hard since Carl, but Rick we can't keep acting like this. We were best friends and now we don't talk. You can't keep going like this. I don't see you out of the station, I know you don't leave the house. Lori told me, she also told me about you guys. I miss you, I miss how everything use to be. You don't think you are the only one who wasn't affected by this. I loved that boy as if he was my own and brother I know it's hard, but you can't isolate yourself from the people who love you."

Rick looked at Shane as realized that it wasn't just him that was hurting. This man who he once called brother was just depressed as he was. He never know because he was living in his own bubble that he forgot the people around him. He knows that most of it was his fault, he didn't want to stop looking for Carl that he didn't realize his family and friends were in pain just as he was.

"Just think about what I said, okay? I'll see you later," Was all Shane said as he left.

Rick soon left after him. Just as he left the station deep in thought and headed towards his car, he heard footsteps behind.

"Hey."

Rick looked behind to see Dwight.

"Listen I know you don't trust me, but I'm getting desperate for help. I am apart of this, I know that, I'm not a good man, but after everything I can't live like this anymore. I already lost my wife to this and that's my fault. She was my world and I lost her because I got desperate enough to work for these people and the end result was the death of her sister and her...it just got worse. I know I'm asking a lot and I probably don't deserve this, but please...I need help."

Dwight turned around to leave and Rick just stared at him. He didn't know if he could change anything, but then he realized that it didn't matter. 

He made up his mind. He could die or worse, but he couldn't just sit by as innocent lives are being destroyed.

* * *

"What will I tell Lori?"

A week later sees Rick back at the station with Shane, their boss, and sheriff Mark Cleaver from another county discussing their plans. Even though he agreed he still has doubts that this was going to work. The plan was mostly that they were going to be led by Dwight to meet the leader. Since Dwight is part of the higher ups, he would put in a good word for them. Dwight was trusted to lead over this area and nobody would question that much if he brought in two workers. One main problem was that it was going to be time consuming.

"Don't worry I thought that over. We will say we both agreed to be part of a program that will help the other counties police department," Shane explained with a proud smile.

It might work and with the situation with both him and Lori there could probably not be a lot of problems. Still didn't change the doubt that Rick was feeling.

"To go over there are a few people in my station that are aware of both of you. I have complete trust in them only since I discovered that some of my men are being paid off, but don't worry about them I'll take care of that. All you have to do is find where their leader is and gather enough evidence for arrest. You cannot under any circumstances interfere with anything even if a murder was going to happen. I know it might be hard, but we can't reveal to them that there are cops undercover."

Rick didn't like any of the things that were being said. They couldn't stop a murder from being happening in front of them. Though from what they got from Dwight it would probably never going to come to that. 

"You'll both be leaving in two weeks so get ready. Get your stories straight for your family, pack up all you need, and keep in mind that you might going to leave somethings so no one will never know your identity. Any questions?"

"Actually sir there is one thing, Rick said as one question came to thought, "What is the name of the leader of the Saviors?"

Both sheriffs looked at him as sheriff Mark answered.

"His name is Negan."


	2. Gangsta

He had three minutes.

Carl Grimes sat on the toilet seat in his bathroom still checking the time. The clock on his phone wasn't going to go faster if he checked every second, but he couldn't help it that soon a life changer was going to happen.

Honestly a lot has changed since he left home. The major one being that he married an older man at seventeen. If people heard that they would probably think he was some kind of victim and his husband a predator, but it wasn't like that at all. 

There were a lot of things he regret from life, but marrying Negan was not one of them. He fell in love with this wonderful man that he gave up everything for and he still never regret it. He did missed his family and he wished that he didn't do that to them, but they would of stopped him if he told them the truth. One day he would go back and tell them everything, but for now he had more important things to do.

 Carl looked at the time again, Negan would be home soon and he hoped he would give him good news. He wanted this so much since Judith was born and this moment could finally happen.

"Babe you home."

He realized Negan came home.

"Uh yeah give me minute," Carl called. He took a deep breath and looked down at the pregnancy test.

**Positive**

Time stopped as he stared. It was positive, it was finally happening, he was going to have a baby.

Carl couldn't hold back the tears. He was overwhelmingly happy and he had to share this with Negan. He left the bathroom and headed towards the living room to see Negan.

"Oh hey there you are..."

Was all Negan said before Carl jumped on him, kissing him deeply. The shock wore off quickly for Negan as he returned the kiss quite passionately. He never denied themselves from any intimacy, always looking forward to get laid from his little wife.

After awhile they finally pulled apart.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's gotten into you?"

Carl smiled widely as showed Negan the positive test. He took it from him and studied it intently.

"Baby boy does this mean..."

"Yes it does."

Negan pulled Carl back into his arms and resumed to kiss him. There was nothing but joy between them. After all this time they were finally going to be parents.

Carl wrapped his arms around Negan's neck when he felt hands on his hips. Soon Negan grabbed Carl's ass and lifted him up, legs going around his waist. He started to go forward to the bedroom not breaking away from Carl. Negan put Carl on the bed and removed both their clothes. He stared at Carl's beautiful lithe body imagining that soon his body will swell with their child.

Carl moaned as Negan started to kiss on his stomach. He put a hand through Negan's hair as he lifted his head and returned to kiss him. Negan removed himself to grab the lube from the nightstand. Carl looked at him intimately and still couldn't believe that this man wanted him. Relationships were so hard for Carl, dating people his own age never turned out right. When it was a boy they just wanted to get in his pants and when it was a girl he always ended up spending a lot of money on stuff that the girl had no use of. With Negan, it was a whole new experience of finding a partner who only wanted to be with him.

Soon Carl felt a finger in his entrance and a hand stroking his cock. He spread his legs widely for Negan, he always loved having him between him. Negan started thrusting his finger, working Carl open and soon entering another. While doing that Negan went to put his mouth on Carl's cock sucking gently. Carl moaned at both feelings as he grabbed Negan's head.

He whined as he felt the fingers removed from his entrance and the hot mouth from his cock. Carl opened his eyes to see Negan putting lube on his member, stroking slowly as he looked at him with intense lust in his eyes that made Carl blush. Negan soon grabbed at his legs to put around his waist and putting his cock right at Carl's entrance. 

Carl felt the push and couldn't help but moan. Negan was so big that it was surprising that he could fit, but Carl loved it. He wanted Negan to be inside of him, the place where his entered him that created this life that they could call a child. It was this moment that Carl realized that he was getting what he wanted the most, wishing beyond hope for this miracle, and now it was coming true. He didn't care if he was too young, but he wanted his own child the moment he held Judith in his arms.

Negan thrust slowly in Carl to adjust, but soon went faster. They wrapped themselves around each other, mouths attached that they shared the same breath, and the feeling of being one. It felt like they were the only two people in their own world.

Carl felt the pressure inside him, realizing that he would soon be coming. He didn't want to stop just yet, but he was to overwhelmed that he shouted with a burst. His release splattered on his and Negan's stomach. He breathed rapidly as Negan continued to thrust in him, he tightened around Negan, wanting him to come inside him. Carl wanted the his seed to be in him, the same that created the life within him. Negan came with a groan.

They didn't let go with one another. The feeling was to intense, but soon Negan rises and looked at Carl. Carl saw everything in his eyes that he pulled Negan down gently to kiss him one more time.

* * *

 "Do you think we will have a boy or girl?"

Hours later they were both clean and dressed, sitting in the kitchen eating dinner. Negan cooked this time. Carl did majority of the cooking since Negan only knew how to cook one thing. 

So they were having spaghetti.

"To be honest, doesn't matter as long as they're born healthy," Carl replied as he went to take a bite of his meal.

Negan nodded as smiled and look fondly at him. He rose from his seat to go to the fridge, probably to grab a beer Carl thought. Negan would always have a beer with dinner. As Carl continued to eat, he looked back at Negan. The moment of happiness was continuing and he hoped it would never go away. He watched as Negan took a can of beer from the fridge, but instead of opening it he just stared at it.

"Is something wrong."

Negan didn't answer when he looked back at Carl. He had a look on his face that he was deep in thought. It worried Carl a little as Negan was never this quiet, but then Negan sighed and put the beer back.

"We're going to be parents."

Carl nodded.

"So maybe there something's we have to change."

Carl looked at Negan confused as he tried to figure out what he was saying.

"I mean you know what my business is and there are times when I indulge a little. One beer isn't probably going to do anything, but I think it's time that maybe I should quit."

Carl couldn't help but be shocked. Negan not drinking or even take a little drug sounds almost unheard of. Carl knew the first time he got together with Negan that he indulges with a dangerous lifestyle. Even he participated in them as well.

"Why now?"

Negan sat back down on the table as he looked sadly at Carl and knew that something unpleasant was going to be bring up.

"When you told me your pregnant I was so excited, but remember this wasn't the first time."

He knew that it was going to come out sooner or later. Carl hated being reminded of his failed pregnancy. It's been over a year, but it's still hurts that he didn't take care of the life within him.

"You know it wasn't your fault right?"

"I know but,"Carl replied trying to keep the tears from falling, "It doesn't matter that I didn't know at the time. I should've known better than to be so irresponsible.

"If it was anyone's fault it was mine."

"No."

He can't blame Negan for it and he knew it technically it wasn't his fault either, but didn't help matters at all. It was too early that he didn't know he was pregnant at time. 

He wasn't an addict, but he did do coke from time to time. He only ever done it with Negan because getting high together always led them to have exhilarating night. It felt like every other night at the club that Negan and his group does work at. After he was done they spent the rest of the night enjoying themselves with drinking, snorting coke, and Carl grinding on Negan's lap. After doing a couple of blows, Carl started to feel sick and felt a little wetness between his legs. It wasn't till he saw blood dripping down his leg that he knew something was wrong and when he tried to tell Negan, he fainted. He woken up in what appears to be a hospital room with Negan sitting right next to him looking almost afraid. He was confused at what happened, he knew that he didn't over did it, but when he tried to ask Negan what happened the doctor came in. The news Carl received devastated him as he learned he miscarriage. The next few months led Carl depressed as he blamed himself for being so stupid. Negan was no better, he was blamed himself, asking Carl for forgiveness.

There was nothing to forgive and they both had to move on.

"I still think about it all the time that I haven't been indulging like I use to. I've actually hesitated on drinking, when I'm in the club or eating dinner with you, I'm avoiding drinking a whiskey or a beer. And now that we are having a baby I am going to stop completely."

Carl was silent after he hearing what Negan said. He did notice that Negan was drinking little, but didn't mention it. He knew he hadn't taken any drugs since Carl stopped and he couldn't help but be proud of him. Considering Negan's line of work and the people around him it must have been hard, but he pulled through and the price was worth it in the end.

Carl rose from his seat and went to sit on Negan's lap. He couldn't help help but kiss Negan to let him feel the love that he had for this man. Negan wrapped his arms around Carl as he returned the kiss. They soon pulled apart, but Negan rested his forehead on Carl's as stared lovingly at him.

"You know we have a lot to do before this baby comes right?"

Carl smiled as he listened to Negan rattle on.

"We have to get diapers, clothes, and a crib. A room has to be step up, though we will probably share our room with the baby for a a few months, but the room across from us could be perfect. We just have to get rid of the stuff, paint it, and get furniture and toys. Shit we have to think of a name first..."

"Negan," Carl laughed out,"We only just find out, I haven't even been to the doctor yet. So relax we still have time."

"You say that now, but before you know it you'll be popping out that baby before we get everything done."

Carl shook his head as he got up and grabbed the plates to the sink.

"Shouldn't you be resting right now? I don't you want to overwork your self."

"Relax I'm just doing dishes, not heavy lifting."

As Carl cleaned he realized he was going to have to deal with Negan hovering over him for the next nine months.

* * *

 A few days later saw both Carl and Negan at the doctors office for the first check up. Negan's original doctor wasn't fully trained on male pregnancies since they are pretty minor, so he recommended his brother. Carl had to remember sometimes that though female pregnancy was common, male pregnancy wasn't. There wasn't a lot of men getting pregnant due to the fact only some could do it.

Carl was sitting on the exam table while Negan sat on a seat next to him. He wasn't use to going to other doctors because of his line of work. There was always some incident that they could only go where no questions were asked, but in this situation they had to go somewhere else.

The door open and came in a man and woman.

"Hello I'm Dr. Carson and this nurse Rosita."

As Carl looked at the man he couldn't tell you that this man was related to Negan's personal doctor. He looked much more friendly while the other looked serious and slightly depressed.

"Hi I'm Carl Winchester and this my husband John."

Negan nodded at the man. While out in public he never use his first name and would call himself by his middle name. It was pretty common so no one would look into it.

"Alright so I've heard the good news and I will start by asking a couple of questions."

Carl nodded as he was still very happy.

"Do you know how far along you are?" Carson asked while the nurse gathers a few supplies.

"No."

"Have you been feeling nauseous any time?"

"There a few times I've been feeling sick, but I thought it was the flu at first because it didn't always happen in the morning," Carl replied as he thought about the few times he wasn't feeling well. He just shrugged it off at first until it became a little frequent.

"Yes morning sickness happens not just in the mornings," Carson explained, "Since you are male your symptoms don't appear till your third month when your body is adjusting to the child. So we are going to do a quick sonogram to see how far along you are. It's still early so there will not be a lot of development in the picture. We will also be checking your weight, the paperwork told me your age, but you look quite younger than twenty."

Carl knew he looked a bit younger and slightly malnourished than he should be. They were a lot of problems he had at high school that he would hide from his family. He had to change his diet several times over the years. 

Dr. Carson motion Carl to lay down as the nurse prepared the sonogram. He lifted his shirt to reveal his stomach and he gasped as the doctor put the cold gel on him. Carl felt Negan grabbed his hand and he couldn't help but smile at him. The doctor took the wand to scan inside Carl. He focused on the screen as both Negan and Carl looked intently hoping to see their baby.

"Alright there we go. From what I can tell you appear to be at least six weeks."

Carl tried to see anything on the screen, but everything was just a squiggly black and white.

"I don't see anything," Carl said sadly.

"Don't worry it is hard to tell from males. You don't have the appropriate womb as woman do, but your body will adjust to the change. At fifthteen weeks you'll be able to see more and definitely hear the heart."

After Carl cleaned his stomach and rest of the exam was finished. Both Carl and Negan stood waiting for the doctor give them their list of prescriptions.

"So I will be prescribing you several prenatals and several vitamins. I will also give a list of foods which you can and cannot eat. So I'll see you both in two weeks, but if you have any questions or if there any problems you can call me anytime."

Carl thanked the doctor while Negan just nodded. He took the list, said farewell, and left the doctors office. 

After making a trip to the pharmacy to get Carl's prescription, Negan headed for a fast food drive thru.

"Don't suppose burger and fries are out of the question, is it?"

"I think it will be fine, plus I do have to gain weight anyway."

Carl tried to remember as to why he practically stop eating in the first place. Even though he was a good student it didn't stop from being pressured by other OF his classmates. He wasn't popular, he had a friends, but a lot of times he wondered if they even like him. There was always something he did that would piss them off. 

 "Well don't worry about that I'll definitely make sure you are nice and fat for the baby."

"Gee thanks."

They drove home in silence with Carl eating a fry or two. They arrived home and ate their lunch in the living room. They tend to do this from time to time since they didn't always eat junk food.

"Do you have work tonight?" Carl asked as he went to take a sip of his soda.

"Unfortunately yes, some of my profits have been lacking and I got to see if any of my men are actually doing there job. At least tonight I'm only talking to two or three of them, in a week I'm going to have a meeting with lot of my group and I'm not looking forward to that."

Carl has only met a few of Negan's top people and not the ones who live farther then them. Negan can tolerate the ones who work in this area because they had never caused any problems, but the ones that live somewhere else tend to be a little untrustworthy. Without Negan there they believe that they can do whatever they want especially not give full payments to Negan. 

"Has anyone caused any trouble?"

"At the top of my head," Negan answered as he thought of a couple of names, "Gregory has definitely been dishonest about a few things, Gavin is not keeping his men in line, and don't get me started on those garbage people. Worst group ever and the person in charge is a crazy bitch. I don't understand how she can talk like that, she's not even foreign."

Carl hummed when Negan mentioned the ones that even a few found annoying. There were lucky that they can at least do a decent job or they would be dead right now. Though sometimes it felt like it should happened earlier.

"Eugene is probably going to give me some bullshit excuse and practically pee his pants while doing it. I don't know what I'm going to get from Dwight."

"Since your having the whole gang I'm probably going to have to make one appearance. Especially if London has to come too."

"Yeah I know. Just be careful."

"Don't worry it's just a meeting," Carl smiled at Negan's worry. His man was always taking care of since they got together. He went over to Negan's side and wrapped around his waist while Negan wrapped an arm around him.

He had been to these meetings before and they were pretty much the same. So he wasn't worried that something was going to happen. They will have the meeting, he'll talk to his friends there, and they will enjoy the rest of their together.

Nothing will go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since it's fanfic mpreg is going to be a normal thing in this universe.  
> I didn't know Negan's last name so I'm going with that.  
> Never had a kid so I'm going to mess up wherever goes on.


	3. Blue neighborhood

"Marvin Watson?"

Rick read the name on the i.d that held his new identity. He wonder how they came up with a name like that for a southern man. For the most part it was pretty simple so he was lucky that it wasn't that crazy.

"At least you didn't get the name Wallace Dahmer. Jesus where on earth did someone come up with that?" Shane said as he laid on a bed.

Their set up at the moment was a motel room that wasn't to far from town. It was decent enough if you didn't count loud noises coming from other rooms. They were to remain there waiting till Dwight came to bring them for a monthly meeting that happens so Negan can check in on others. Their cover was that they were two of Dwight's newest workers/bodyguards that came with him to meet the main boss. Apparently it wasn't unheard of that Negan will meet the new people who will work for him and with Dwight giving them a good word they hope there will be no questions. This will be a first recon mission, they will stake the place out, and report back to sheriff Mark for any more orders.

"What time did Dwight say we have to be there?"

"I believe he said we have to be there at nine sharp so he'll pick us up at eight." Rick answer while unpacking some of his clothes. He was nervous as hell for what they were about to do. They won't have to do much at least, but the risk were pretty high that they were going into the lions den.

"How did Lori take it when you told her we're leaving for awhile?"

Rick sighed as he thought back to that dreaded conversation. It wasn't easy as he thought it would be for her to accept it since he couldn't tell her the entire truth. After hours of fighting she finally gave up and stated that she didn't care and just go then. He tried to tell her he wasn't leaving them, that he would come back, that he would call every night, but in the end it didn't matter.

"Fine."

Shane looked at him as if he didn't believe him, but decided not to poke it any further. 

"Well I'm going to get some shut eye. Wake me up when it's time to leave."

Rick nodded and sat on his own bed. He doubted he could get any rest. There was too much going on his head right now.

The only thing he could do right now is hope for the best.

* * *

 Carl looked down at the black shorts in his hand. They were his favorite pair that made him look gorgeous, giving him almost a curvy figure that Negan couldn't keep his hands to himself. He wouldn't be able to wear them in the coming months and he wanted to wear them one last time.

Growing up he was pretty thin and small compared to other boys in his age group. Even after he had a growth spurt his body looked slightly feminine that some people confuse him for a girl. Maybe having a eating disorder wasn't helping in the development of his body and growing out his hair didn't stop people from calling him a girl. 

 He put on the shorts along with a navy blue shirt and black sneakers. As he brushed his hair he heard the door from his bedroom open.

"Damn."

Carl turned to see Negan eyeing him up. He couldn't help but blush as Negan was practically undressing him.

"You know we had plans, but looking like that just makes me want to throw you down on the bed and have my way you."

"Negan," Carl exclaimed, "stop that you perverted old man."

"Hey it's not my might fault you look like sin."

Carl laughed and shook his head. Sometimes Negan's way of talking can be embarrassing, but other times he couldn't help but be flattered. 

It reminded him of the first thing Negan ever said to him when they first met and that was complimenting Carl's ass. 

"Are you ready yet? I want to be there before others get there to talk to Simon."

"Yeah I'm ready," Carl answered while looking in the mirror. His body was going to change so much and he was worried about it. He saw Negan come behind him and wrapped his arms around, laying his head on top of Carl's.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you. I'm just thinking that I'm not going to be looking like this much longer."

"You know what the best part about this is?"

Carl raise his eyebrow already figuring it out that he was going to say something crude.

"What?"

Negan grinned as his hands went up to his chest and started to rub his nipples through his shirt.

"These are going to be bigger."

Carl laughed at Negan. Yes he knows he would grow breast in a few months and would be able to produce milk. Leave it to Negan to be perverted about it. 

It wasn't going to be a huge surprise that he will look even more like a girl. He didn't mind it that much, though the few times it bothered him when he was in school was because he was being made fun. Now he was ready for all to come.

"Seriously we got to go before I really start thinking with my dick and I'll never get any work done."

Negan let go of Carl and went to leave the bedroom with Carl following him. Soon they exited the house and went to the car. The drive to the club as at least thirty minutes since they live in a private area with no one for miles. Negan liked to have his own space away from people and gladly shared it with Carl.

Carl looked up ahead to see the place where Negan and most of his crew did their business.

The Sanctuary.

* * *

 "Why would they call a strip club The Sanctuary?"

The question was plaguing both Rick and Shane's mind as they were in the car with Dwight driving them to their destination. The place was on a part of the town where there was mostly bars, tattoo shops, and mechanics. It looked like an ordinary strip club with lights and neon signs.

"The boss let one of his top people name it. I don't know why she chose it cause I really don't want to know what goes on in her head," Dwight explained as he park the car across from the Sanctuary.

They got out of the car and went over. Just as they were in front of the entrance Dwight stopped and turned towards them.

"Let me do all the talking, you both will be asked a few questions. It will be mostly about work just like we talked about. If you have to bullshit make sure you get your stories straight. Got it?"

Rick and Shane nodded. They both talked about what they would say if anybody asked questions. They just hope they will be believable.

"Alright let's do this," Dwight said taking a deep breath as he entered the club. Loud music hit them as they walked through passing a bouncer.

 _I've been here all night_  
 _I've been here all day_  
 _And_ _boy, got me walkin' side to side_  
 _I've been here all night_  
 _I've been here all day_  
 _And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)_

They room was big with a bar and stage that had two polls, lights dim while the stage glowed. Tables and chairs filled with patrons all eyes on the stage that only had one dancer.

 The woman on stage was beautiful and her dancing hypnotic to everyone in the room. You could almost describe her like you could with a fairy tale princess. Skin pale as snow, long dark hair as the night sky, and lips as red as a rose. Her outfit consists with a black sparkling bikini top and a matching skirt with boots that made her tall. What stands out the most was her almost glowing eyes and her smile which showed her sharp canines. It was seductive and scary all at once.

They followed Dwight as he made his way across the bar seeing a man and woman behind it.

"Simon."

The man turned around as heard Dwight called out.

"Well its good to see you Dwight. I really didn't expect you to actually come."

"Negan called so I came."

"Yeah you did. Glad that you did," Simon said as he grinned. He looked behind Dwight to see that he brought people with him, "Whose your friends?"

"This Marvin and Wallace, they're new so I think I should show them the ropes and introduce them to Negan."

"Negan always like meeting new people, but are you sure they're trustworthy?" Simon asked looking suspiciously at them.

"You have my word that they are."

Simon didn't look like he wanted to agree, but he nodded anyway. 

"Where's Negan?"

"He's in his office with the Mrs," Simon smirked, "So its going to be awhile. Why don't you and your friends sit down and enjoy the entertainment? I could send Sherry over to give you a good time, for old times."

"No thanks." 

"Suite yourself," Simon turned around to the woman at the bar.

Dwight exhaled as he motioned for Rick and Shane to follow him to an empty booth. He sat down and put his head in his hands looking almost like he was trying to catch his breath.

"Are you alright?"

Dwight just nodded.

Shane sat down and looked at the dancer.

"Surprising there's only one stripper."

Dwight raised his head.

"Yeah when London performs, she gets the whole stage herself. She's different then the rest mostly because she is one of Negan's top dealers. The rest of the girls are just your run of the mill stripper.

"That man said that Negan brought his wife here?" Rick asked, "Isn't that a little dangerous for bringing her here?"

"Negan does whatever he wants, but follows his wife's every command. I only met him once and Negan loves to spoil him."

"Him?" Shane asked surprising thinking that he probably heard wrong.

"Negan's wife is male. I thought he was a girl at first till I had a really good look at him. I didn't expect for Negan to have a male wife for the way he talks to women, but he adores him to no end."

"Shouldn't the meeting start soon? What are they doing that we have to wait?" Rick asked. He was getting a little impatient and nervous as they were going to go deeper into this.

Dwight looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I think you don't want to know."

* * *

 Carl hold tightly at the desk moaning as Negan thrust harder into him from behind.

"Oh god yes."

Negan grunted, gripping Carl's waist so tight that there would be bruises tomorrow. He kept hitting the spot that made Carl wild and tighten around his cock. Earlier in their relationship Carl was always nervous to get intimate with Negan and that was because he was afraid of being used, but over time Carl finally relaxed and he couldn't get enough of Negan.

"I ah...Negan I'm going to...god I'm going to cum."

Negan put one hand to stroke Carl's cock and the other to rub his nipples. The feelings were getting to intense that soon Carl shouted his release, splattering on the floor.

"Fuck."

Negan kept thrusting faster as he followed later on cumming inside of Carl. 

They stood where they were with Negan hugging him from behind as they tried to catch their breath. Negan loved to screw Carl in his office that if he got loud enough, people can hear outside.

"You know, I don't understand why you insist on everyone to come in on time when we are the ones late."

Negan laughed. From anyone else he wouldn't have care and would tell the person to go fuck themselves, but when it was his hot little honey talking to him, he couldn't help but a warm feeling inside. He was so amused and sometimes aroused when Carl talked back with fiery look in his eyes.

"One of the perks of being the boss really. I don't wait for them, they wait for me."

Carl snorted as they untangle themselves. He went towards the small bathroom so he could wash himself. This wasn't a new thing for Carl, he was use to Negan bending him over his desk for a quickie. It was surprising that he got any work.

As Carl was finished cleaning himself and putting his clothes back on, there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Negan called out practically growling. No one was stupid enough to interrupt them even if they were done.

"ITS ME."

Oh. It wasn't someone stupid just someone crazy.

Negan sighed and went to open the door. Standing there with a grin on her face was London. She was probably done dancing downstairs and went to come up to get Negan for the meeting. 

"Whatcha doing?"

"What do you think?"

"Hmmm, well with a distinct smell in the air and Carl's flush face. I have absolutely no idea."

Negan looked at her with deadpan expression on his face as she laughed. Carl couldn't help but be amused by them, their interaction with each other was pretty funny.

"Just go to downstairs. I'll be there soon."

"Ok."

She turned around to leave, but she spin right around back.

"I almost forgot. Dwight came and he brought people. Simon says they were two new workers."

"That's not surprising London," Negan replied looking at her confusing, "If we get new people, I always get introduced to them."

London tilted her head and had an amused smile. It was almost as if she knew something he didn't.

"Just letting you know," was all she said as she made her way downstairs, "Everyone is here so don't keep us waiting."

Negan watched her leave with a deep thought look on his face. He shook his head as turned to Carl. There was no way to know what goes on in her head.

"Shall we be off."

Carl nodded as followed Negan. They headed down stairs to the area of the club where there were now more girls entertaining guest. The meeting room was next to the bar that was only for employees only for regular people.

Negan opened the door and both him and Carl stepped in.

"Well how's it going everyone?"


	4. Issues

Rick and Shane sat at the back of what was suppose to be the lounge while Dwight sat at the main table with Negan's top people. Since they were considered on the bottom of them, all they had to do was sit and listen till someone talks to them. They weren't alone, sitting next to them was a chubby man with a mullet name Eugene. Though personally invited he wasn't in the big leagues so he sat quietly next to them.

After talking for non stop an hour before Simon told him to shut up.

Rick stared at the people sitting on the table. They talked amongst themselves as they waited for Negan. Before he asked Dwight why didn't anyone go up and get him. The answer he got was that no one was suicidal and they have no choice but to wait since the guy they usually sent up called Fat Joey was dead. 

"It probably won't be long," Simon said when he entered, "London went up to get them."

"Finally."

Ten minutes later and walked in was the dancer from before practically skipping. She changed her outfit and was now wearing black leggings and tank top. She sat down near the head of the table where there were two empty seats. Probably for Negan and his wife.

"Well how's it going everyone?"

Everyone looked up and stood as a man entered. He was a big man probably in his forties, had black hair, and beard with a hint of grey. He was wearing grey jean, leather jacket opened to show a white t-shirt, and boots. 

Just as Rick was trying to get a take on this man another figure entered behind him. When he saw him Rick couldn't breathe and thought at the moment that he was dreaming or even seeing things. He turned towards Shane to see him in staring in shock and knew he wasn't seeing things. It didn't stop the shock that was going through his body that after all these years he finally found the one person that practically gave him the reason to live.

Standing there was his son Carl.

Rick looked at him trying to get the image of Carl. He was taller, his hair was longer, and he looked more feminine than he did before. The clothes he was wearing made Rick sick to his stomach as it looked a bit promiscuous. The black shorts revealed his smooth long legs and around his right leg was a barbwire tattoo. 

"It is so good to see all of you," Negan said sitting down at the head of the table with Carl sitting right next to him, "Believe it or not I actually missed you fucks, but as you know today is the annual meeting. So I've been reviewing all your hard work and I have to say I am very very displeased with every single one of you. Who wants to start?"

Rick couldn't focus as people talk, just stared at Carl. He hasn't noticed them yet as he tried to listen, but looked almost bored. The young dancer who was called London looked bored too as she laid her head down on Carl's shoulders and smiled at him when looked at her. He didn't know how long the meeting last for as Negan looked more and more irritated as each person talked.

"Alright enough bullshit already," Negan called out startling Rick and silencing everyone, "How many times do we have to go through this? Do you all realized that I know what's going on? So listen up if none of you improve or if I find out that the rules are not being followed, someone is either going to have some quality time with Lucille or have a play date with London. Do I make myself clear?"

"Hurray." London said before anyone else and clapped. 

Every single person paled and nodded.

"Good. For now you're all dismissed, but keep in mind I will know what is going you all hear."

Just as everyone was about to stand and leave, Negan spotted Dwight and realized he forgot something.

"Hold on everyone I almost forgot. Dwight you brought in new employees am I right?"

"Yes sir."

"Well where are they?"

Dwight motioned Rick and Shane to come forward. As they raised from their chairs everyone turned towards them and Carl finally noticed them. He frozed and his eyes widened as he saw two people he hadn't seen for years.

"This is Wallace and Marvin, they've been working for me for about a month now and I thought it was time I introduce you to them."

Negan got out of his chair when both Rick and Shane stood before him. The smile on his face was almost unsettling, but they kept it together. Rick tried to look at him as long as he can, but he couldn't help but stare at Carl.

"It is nice to meet you both. I hope you've been enjoying your time, but I also expect both of you to work hard. I really don't like slackers, you hear me?"

"Yes sir."

Rick just nodded. It was as if his voice couldn't work.

"That's what I want to hear. Dwight," Negan called as he turned towards him, "You've informed them that following the rules is a very serious matter, right?"

"I have sir."

"Good. Like I said I'll be reviewing the work you've all done and there will be feedback, but for now it is late," Negan explained as Carl rose from his seat, "So me and my wife are going home, screw around, and hit the hay. So have goodnight to you all."

"You sure you guys don't want to stay for a beer boss?" Simon asked.

"Actually Simon I'm afraid I won't be able to," Negan replied and went to stand next to Carl, wrapping his arms around him, "I have great news to share. As you know it's been me and Carl for awhile and now a third is coming to join this little family. There is at this moment a bun in Carl's oven."

Silence was all Rick heard as he stared at Carl. Shock wasn't what he felt as heard what was said and he really felt as if he could vomit right now. 

"Congratulations boss."

Negan smiled and Carl looked happy as everyone praised them for their joy. 

"Alright I love to stay, but Carl needs to rest. So have a goodnight and Dwight I want to see you tomorrow so..."

"Hey."

Both Negan and Carl looked down as London kneeled in front of Carl poking his stomach.

"How are you? Whatcha doing in there?" London said to Carl's stomach, "Hey can you hear me? I'm talking to you," London raised her head to look at them, "You know your kid is being really rude."

Negan sighed.

"I don't have time for this so Dwight I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight everyone," Was all he said before him and Carl left. Just before leaving Carl looked back at Rick. He didn't say anything as they existed the lounge.

Time didn't matter for Rick and as soon as he knew it he was in a back of a car.

"Rick..Rick buddy come on answer me."

"Is he alright?"

He stared forward when he realized there were voices calling him. He shook his head trying to get his thoughts together as he discovered that Shane and Dwight were looking at him from the front seat.

"It was Carl," Rick finally said as he breathed heavily. He felt as if he ran a marathon and was having a heart attack.

"I know brother."

"Carl was here...he's alive. Oh god. He's...he is...there's going to be," Rick could barely make out a sentence.

"Rick you have to breath. Relax ok."

He tried to calm his breathe, but so hard. He was going to be sick as he realized his son was with that man. That monster was doing god knows what to his son. 

"You know him?" Dwight asked confuse by the situation.

Shane was hesitant to answer him, not knowing how he would react. This news could actually get them all in trouble.

"Yeah um...Dwight that was Rick's son Carl."

"What. Tell me your joking. This has to be a joke right?" Dwight asked fearfully.

"It's him," Rick finally answer. "It's Carl, my son."

"Shit." Dwight exclaimed. "Do you know what's this mean? We're fucked. If he tells Negan we're all dead."

"Hey don't overreact."

"Are serious right now because we have to do something. We got leave town...fuck, okay we'll just...I don't know."

Dwight was panicking trying to come up with a solution. This was something that they didn't expect. Rick wanted to find his son for years and now that he did, he had to get him back even if it meant it would kill him.

"How the hell is your son here?"

"I can't say." Rick answered. "He ran away three years ago. I don't even know how he could have met him."

Dwight didn't say anything. He looked like he was deep in thought and scared all at once. They knew there were going to be risks when they went undercover, but now this could blow everything up.

"What do we do now?" Shane asked.

"Right now I'm taking you both back to the motel," Dwight replied as started the car. "And tomorrow I'm going to go have my talk with Negan and we will see from there."

"Are you sure..."

"Yes alright, don't worry," Dwight snapped.

 The rest of the ride was silent. Rick looked out the window trying to figure out what he was going to do. He had to see Carl, he had to figure out why he left. So many things were going on his head, but one thing stood out the most.

 He found his son and he had to bring him home.

* * *

 Carl laid down on the bed. Of all the things that happened tonight seeing his father and godfather there was not what he was expecting. 

"You okay? You've been quiet all night."

He turned to his side to see Negan staring at him, laying on his side of the bed.

"I'm fine. I'm a little tired that's all." Carl smiled reassuring to him. He hasn't told Negan that his dad was there. He didn't know what was going on, but if he revealed who those men were they could get hurt.

"If you say so." Negan said, laying down on his back. "All I got from that is the same old same old. Either business is slow or there were just some accidents. You know Gavin at least gave me a actual reason, one of the guys got busted by the cops and started squealing on them that they had to leave. The rest just disappoint me to no end."

"You have a appointment with Dwight tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah nothing too serious, just have to go over some things. I forgot to tell to bring the new guys, I'll just call him in the morning about it."

"What do you think of them?" Carl asked trying to see if Negan suspected something. It wasn't easy lying to Negan, though few who could do it out of fear like Gregory or Eugene that he would let it pass. Others had problems trying to keep a straight face.

"Hmm didn't get much from them, maybe tomorrow. Hopefully the that one prick can talk, he looked like he was about to pass out or throw up. I mean I know I'm intimidating, but I thought I was being pretty friendly."

Carl knew it wasn't any of those things. It was probably from seeing him and finding out that your son who has been missing is married and having a baby. He was surprised that his dad held it together as much as he did since he really did look terrible.

"Well I don't know about you, but I really need some shut eye. You would think being your own boss you could go to work anytime you want, but nope. Don't suppose you want to come with me tomorrow?"

Carl thought really hard. He wanted to see his dad, but he can't let Negan know that. Worst case he would have to do this behind Negan's back, which means he's going to need help with that. He could only think of one person and he dreaded asking her.

"No thanks. I think I'm just going to relax tomorrow.

"That's good. Goodnight baby boy." Negan said, turning over to give Carl a kiss.

Carl accepted the kiss eagerly as he loved the affection Negan gives him.

"Goodnight."

* * *

 Rick woke up to a banging on the door. He checked the time on his phone to see it was at least seven. He saw Shane jumped up in surprise, they didn't expect anyone and that gave them a feeling something is wrong. Rick got up out of bed to answer the door and standing there was a frantic Dwight.

"Get dress. We have to go see Negan."

Rick stared at him. That wasn't in the plan at all, they were suppose to just be there last night and contact the sheriff the next day. So why did they have to see him again.

"What's going on?" Rick asked.

"I just got a call that I have to bring you two with my talk with. So get ready we have to leave now."

"Wait a minute." Shane said, getting up and walking over to Dwight. "We are not prepared for that yet, we only thought of what was going to happen yesterday."

"I know, I know, but this is a last minute thing Negan wants to do. Look we have to go do this or he would be suspicious and after we'll talk to sheriff Mark. Okay?" Dwight explained.

In truth Rick didn't need much convincing. Any chance he would get to be close to Carl he would take it. And he knew Shane would follow his lead.

An hour later, they were already at the front entrance of The Sanctuary. It was a surprise that the doors were open since it was closed till noon. There was not much there since last night, but Simon was there talking to a girl next to the stage.

"Dwight." The girl called out as she noticed them. She had dark blonde hair and wearing a short dress.

"Morning Sherry. Morning Simon." Dwight responded. 

"Well good morning to you too. The boss is waiting for you in his office so go right on up. And Sherry I don't care what excuse you have, your working tonight and that is final." Simon said.

The girl Sherry didn't say anything and left to the backstage. Dwight just after her with an almost sad expression, but motion for Rick and Shane to follow him to Negan's office. They  walked up the stairs to a new floor and went down the hall. They approached the last door and Dwight knocked on it.

"Come in."

They entered and saw that it was a well furnished office. It had no windows, but the lights were bright. At the right side of the room was a black coach and on the other side was another door. Negan was seated behind a dark wood desk with paperwork all over and a laptop. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, leather jacket hanging behind his chair, and he also had glasses on. The few things that stood out was a bat covered in bar wire and looked like it had blood on it. The second thing was the girl London sitting cross legged on the floor reading a book.

"Good morning boys. How are you this fine day?" Negan asked smiling at them as he took his glasses off. London didn't acknowledge any of them just focused on the book.

 "We're pretty good boss. How's your morning been?" Dwight responded trying to sound casual even though he was hiding how much in panic he was in.

"It has been a fantastic morning. Anyway I need to go over with you the usual shipping order and profits you've been making. Slow business happens in a small town and I've been thinking that I should relocate you somewhere..."

For most part of an hour it's just Negan and Dwight talking, nothing to say the he suspects anything just how business is and ideas that Negan has. Rick was disappointed that Carl wasn't here. After awhile Negan seemed he was done with Dwight.

"Alright I think that's enough for today. Since you're staying for a few days you and the boys will be helping out with some shipments. Relax for awhile and I'll call you when to meet up."

Dwight nodded, relieved that he can survive another day.

"HEY, did you know that Carl is going to be growing boobs in like week ten. He is like going to have to go bra shopping. I can't help with that cause I stop wearing them like I think when I was seventeen. They are way to restricting for me." London ranted as she spoke for the first time. Rick realized she was reading a book about male pregnancy and his stomach turned thinking about what Carl is going through.

"Yeah I know that London." Negan said sarcastically.

"If you don't mind me asking sir. How is he doing?" Dwight asked trying to be polite.

"He is doing okay. He is home safe and sound eating as his hearts desire. Good thing too he is way too thin that it did worried the doctor a bit."

"Well you get that skinny when you're anorexic for most of your life." London interrupted continued to read the book.

Rick focused on what she said and didn't understand. Carl didn't have any eating disorder as a kid, he was healthy as Rick remembered. 

"But you can't blame Carl for it. It's not his fault his home life was fucked." London explained.

As the more she talked the more Rick was confused. Why was she saying this? Him and Lori never hurt Carl in any way. Was Carl telling these people these things?

"Enough of that. Dwight keep your phone on as I will be calling you soon. You are all dismissed for the day so get the hell out of my office." Negan said, returning to the paperwork on his desk.

As as they were given permission to leave, they turned and exited the office. They waited til they got outside to the car to speak. Rick was still trying to go over what that girl had said about Carl.

"Alright I'm bringing you both back to the motel. Contact the sheriff on what to do and I'll give you guys the heads up on what is going on." Dwight explained to them.

They both nodded in agreement. These past couple of days have been exhausting that it would be easier to stay in the motel awhile.

If only they knew things were going to be more complicated.

* * *

 People see her as if there was something wrong with her. 

It has been like that since she was a child after her father died. She didn't understand it at the time because even when she asked no one would tell her. They treated her as if she had some kind of disease that they had to avoid or cure in their own way. She wonder sometimes if it had to due with the voices in her head, but they only came when she was fifteen.

Maybe that's why London actually liked Negan. Before all this when he was a gym teacher and she was his student, he was always trying to get her involved in things. He wasn't creepy like some of the people in her life, he gave a damn about her even when others gave up on her. He was the first person to have never let her down. Too bad she couldn't do the same.

For Carl it was also different. When they met it was almost like seeing a part of her in him. He was in pain too and nobody can help. So she had no problems tracking down Dwight and the new guys. She wonder how long before anybody, even Negan, find out that she put tracking devices in there phones when she had to find them. So when she found out that they were living in the motel outside of town she gave him the information easily. She can't keep secrets, but if Negan doesn't ask about why Carl needs to know where they are, there would be no problems. 

* * *

 He loved London, but going to her was risky. Carl was just glad she won't tell Negan unless he asked. 

The motel wasn't anything special. He remembered it when him and Negan were staying there waiting for the house to be ready. He didn't know what room his dad or Shane was in as he sat in the car in the parking lot. He was glad he had time before Negan got home.

Just as an hour past, he soon saw Shane came out of one of the rooms. Carl ducked down as he saw Shane go to a car on the other side of the lot. He waited till the car was out of sight before he got out of his car and headed towards the room. There weren't a lot of people out, but the few men that was, looked at him. It wasn't any of Negan's workers, but it still made him uncomfortable as he realized they were checking him out. He hated getting stares like that, he didn't like it when Negan did it when they first met. He was glad he got over that with Negan, but with others he still didn't like it.

He stood in front of the door and raised his hand to knock. He waited a minute before the door open and there standing was his father. Time froze as they both stood staring at each other. Carl examines the man he hasn't seen for three years. He looked thinner, had a slight beard, and his hair was showing grays, but al in all he looked the same to him.

"Hey dad." Carl replied after standing in silence. It finally startled Rick as he moved forward and pulled Carl into a hug. Carl felt Rick cry on his shoulder and he couldn't help but hug him back. He did miss his dad even after everything turned out.

Rick finally let go of Carl, but still kept him close as if he was afraid of him disappearing. He looked at his son up close seeing that he wasn't harmed in any way. After so long he found Carl and all he wanted to do was bring him home where he belonged. But there was still the nagging question that Rick had to ask.

"Why?"

Carl didn't answer. He knew one day that he had to answer as to why he left, but he wasn't ready. After everything his dad had to of realized that he couldn't stay anymore.

"Can we go inside? We have a lot to talk about."

Rick nodded as he brought them both in the room. He closed the door behind them and Carl went to sit on one of the beds. Rick stand before trying to process of what is happening.

"I got married." Carl said, it was the first thing he could think of. It was probably going to make him mad, but he had to explain it to Rick. "If I told you what I was going to do you would of stopped me. He is good man he takes really good care of me. And you know I couldn't..."

"Stop." Rick interrupted, he had to think what Carl was saying. "Carl I've looking for you since the day you disappeared. I've had nightmares and thoughts of the worst that could of happen to you. And I finally found you here and I don't understand any of it. How did you get involved? How did meet this man?"

"Dad I.." But Carl couldn't say anything. How could he put into words of all that happened without hurting him. 

"Did you even think about what your mother went through? Did you even think about Judith at all? Of course I would of stopped you. You were a child Carl. You're still a child who was selfish and didn't even gave a care to his family. And now you're...there's going to be baby with that man. Do you know who Negan is and how dangerous he is?" Rick exclaimed, his voice rising as he looked at Carl. He was relieved that he was reunited with him, but an angry inside him that built up. 

"I had to leave." Carl cried out as the tears fell. "I couldn't stay, it was getting so bad. After everything that was going on and it wasn't getting any better."

"What are you talking about? What was happening that was so bad that you have to leave?" Rick asked as he tried to understand what Carl was saying. He tried to remember if there was anything, but he could only think of when he was shot and went into a coma for a few months, but Carl was only eleven and that happened years before.

"What..." Carl stared at him wide eye. That didn't make any sense, how could his dad not know. He couldn't have been blind, but as he realized that his dad still stared at him confused, he really didn't know. "But how could you not...you were there. That doesn't make sense."

"Carl I really don't know what you're talking about."

Carl couldn't breath. He should never have come here, his dad was either in denial or he really didn't know. But how, he was there, he saw him, and it's why he couldn't stay. After it happened Rick acted like it didn't the next day, like everything was normal. He accepted the fact that his dad would never deal with his mom being with Shane, but this was too much. When he realized his dad didn't want to deal with this, Carl couldn't live like this. 

"I have to leave."

"Carl..." Rick couldn't let him leave, not after finally finding him.

"No." Carl exclaimed, rising up from where he sat. He moved towards the door as Rick stared at him. "I can't stay here. Dad I don't understand how you could not know, but I don't care right now. I need to go home. Please whatever your here for stop. Go back to King county, go back to living a false life, but don't do whatever you and Shane are doing. I won't tell Negan, but please leave."

Rick stared in shock as Carl cried. He wanted to go over there and hug his son, but it was obvious that Carl didn't want that. He watched as Carl left the room, shutting the door behind him. He stood there frozen as he tried to make what Carl said. He didn't understand at all. What happened to his son that drove him in the arms of a drug dealer. Even though Carl told him to go back, he wasn't going to. He had to find out what happened.

Carl drove out of the motel parking lot. He stopped on the side of the road after the motel wasn't insight behind him and he couldn't stop the tears flowing. He knew that this was going to happen, but not to this extent. His dad didn't want to acknowledge of what was going on at home. Sometimes it was like his dad wasn't there sometimes, but how could he have ignored the abuse he was getting from everyone. He had to have seen the bruises he got from his ex-boyfriend Ron, the constant bullying from Shane, and his own mother yelling at him. And dad ignored all of that. It got so bad that he wanted it to end his life and ironically it led him to Negan.

Carl finally stopped crying and wiped his eyes. Right now he was going to go home and wait for Negan. He wanted to be with his husband and in a few months there were going to have a baby. He couldn't make his old life better, but he could with his new one. Him and Negan were going to be better parents to their child. They were never going to neglect, abuse, or abandon their baby like his and Negan's parents.

As he drove home, he hoped his dad took what he said and leave. There would be no good come to this if he stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more as to why Carl left, but at the moment I am going to wait on that since I'm trying to figure out the big stresser as to what Carl into meeting Negan   
> Comment for any ideas and what you think.


	5. The Broken Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A drug would show up from the movie Repo!The genetic opera

_He hated going to this bar, nothing good comes from there._

_Carl stood across the street staring at the worst place he has ever been. He has no good memories and he wished it would burn down taking the people with it. This was the place where he was violated the most that not even his dad had protected him from. What sort of man just stands by as their son is in danger?_

_He pushed those thoughts out of his head, there was no time reminiscing. He came here for one reason only and if his information was right he only had one night to do this. He hoped he had enough money for it, he had to spend at least half just to find where this dealer was. It was either that or his other offer and Carl didn't want to have any physical contact. It was always painful for him, finding no joy while his partner just takes from him._

_Carl walks towards the bar, ignoring the people call out at him. As he enters the attendees stare at him, he realizes that they recognize him. Of course they do, who doesn't know the town slut by now. He just wanted to get this over with as he walked towards where the bartender was._

_"Excuse me."_

_The bartender turn towards him and smirked._

_"Well look who's back. Up for another good time. Hate to burst your bubble, but the men you were with the other day aren't here. Though I'm up for a little tumble if you like."_

_Carl winced and hold in his lunch. The disgust he felt was increased by ten, but he held it in as he had important matters to attend. So with a determined look he glared at the man._

_"I'm not here for that. I'm here to see Gravedigger."_

_The man didn't say anything as he stared at Carl in shock. He realized he was not joking and pointed to where the kitchen was. Carl nodded at the man and went where was directed to._

_"Good luck kid. You are going to need it."_

_He didn't care as he went through the door. The kitchen was surprisingly empty, but as he walked further he heard someone singing._

_I'm young and I love to be young_  
I'm free and I love to be free  
To live my life the way I want  
To say and do whatever I please

_He heard it coming from another door across the room. He went over and opened it see a woman dressed in black swinging from the ceiling. He just stared at her until she finally noticed him._

_"Hello." She responded as she started to get off the swing gracefully. The swing was high up, but she landed on her feet no problem and walked up to him. He had to look up at her since she was very tall._

_"What brings you here?"_

_Carl couldn't respond. Her hazel eyes practically glowed as she stared at him intently and her smile scared him a bit. So he took a deep breath and put on a brave face._

_"I'm looking for Gravedigger."_

_"Heh you're looking right at her." She responded circling around him almost like a lion about to attack. "To what do I owe the pleasure of you coming to see me."_

_"You sell a certain drug that's suppose to be the strongest of all right?"_

_"I do."_

_"I need to buy a vial of it." Carl explained, from what he knows an entire vial can give him a painless and peaceful death._

_Gravedigger was silent as she stared him in the eyes. It was her drug so she knew there was only one reason why someone want a vial and not just a hit._

_"The most powerful pain killer in the world is a serious matter you know. There is only one name for it and that is zydrate. It is a drug that can never be created, but obtained no matter how illegal it is. It is quick, it is clean, and it is pure. One hit and you feel nothing at all. Not even a knife going right through you so when you here a person that is addicted to the knife that is the affect of zydrate. The price for a spark is at least one hundred, but an entire vial is at least a thousand."_

_Carl listen as she explained all this and felt distraught. He didn't have that much, he only had two hundred, he thought that it would be enough, but he was wrong. He had to think of something, he didn't come all the way here for nothing._

_"Please is there anyway you could give something that could do the same job as well. I have at least two hundred, can that give me anything?"_

_"Nope." She responded as she turned her back on him. She felt for the kid, she really did, but she had a business to run. She has been in the boys shoes once and she got through it, maybe he can too._

_Carl didn't say anything as he hung his head low. There were other options and even though he didn't want to, he couldn't live like this anymore. His heart hurt knowing he will never see Judith again and he prayed that her life would be better than his. What hurts even more that he would never get to be a parent that he always wanted to be. No one wanted to love the damage boy who got used by too many._

_Just as he was about to leave, he heard the door open behind him._

_"Damn that is one fine ass."_

* * *

 Carl laid down on the bed he shares with Negan remembering his life that led up to marrying the man he loved. 

He was a happy child with a loving mother, an uncle who he thought of as his best friend, and a father he looked up to. He wasn't bullied at school as he got along with everyone and never had a problem with his teachers. His parents had problems he didn't understand, but they worked it out in the end. But it all changed when his dad was shot that fateful day.

Seeing his dad lying on the hospital bed with no hope of ever waking up was the most horrible experience he had ever felt. It was hard trying to live as if nothing was wrong when all he wanted to do cry and beg for his dad to wake up. It was a month before he realized that both his mom and Shane were different around each other. It was almost as if they were husband and wife acting so happy in front of people. Carl couldn't help but be angry at them. How dare they do this to his dad when he wasn't gone yet? He didn't want to pretend and he started acting out. He got into fights with others, didn't care about his school work, and talked back to his teachers and his mom. Shane tried to be strict with him till Carl snapped and yell that he wasn't his dad. He was miserable and didn't care if he made others miserable too.

After four months his dad finally woken up and he couldn't be happier. The happiness was cut short when his dad wasn't himself for awhile. While in a coma his dad dreamt as if the world had ended and everyone died around him. He still acted as if he was in that world and didn't believe what was going on. He was in a mental hospital for at least a month before he could come home. It was still along time before his dad can get his life back together, that all it was just a dream, and that everyone one he loved was alive. 

Carl didn't understand how life went on after that when his mom never told his dad about the affair she had with Shane. It was even worst when the affair continued and he was forced to keep it a secret by Shane. Their relationship hasn't been the same since then and he didn't want it to be. They were civil toward each other in front of people, but in private they avoided each other. His relationship with his mom wasn't good either, but that was because he didn't want to be involved with any of this sick game she was doing. And his dad was ignorant to all of it, but living in a small town news travels fast that his dad must have realized what was going on. But when he did found out nothing had changed.

When he entered high school was when everything turned into the worst. He barely had any friends since he drove them away because of his misery and his only friend Sophia had died after her father got drunk and drove them into on going traffic. The few friends he had only tolerated him. So he tried his best in school, be the friendly kid he was once was and get good grades. For the most part it was good until he got unwanted attention.

A senior boy taken a liking to a naive freshman should have been the first red flag, but Carl wanted to see good people so he started spending time with him. He was charming and funny that made Carl practically swoon. He wanted to be liked by this boy, but it went too far when Carl let him do things to him he didn't like. It was only touching at first, it never gotten that far no matter how the boy tried. It got worse when the boy got his friends involved at a party, so Carl ended it immediately, but it was too late and by the next day he was known as the school slut who let every guy into pants. People actually believed the lies that he done things with others, that he spread his legs to all who had claim.

He was stuck with that title, even when the seniors had left, for the next two years. No matter how much Carl tried to explain to people that he never done things and what had happened was things he didn't want, nobody believed him. He hated the fact that other boys his age and older tried to come to him as if he was a prostitute. His mom was ashamed of him when the news was brought to her, Shane didn't help matters as he believed the rumors, and his dad didn't want to acknowledge it. There were moments when he was grateful his dad treated him as if he wasn't a stigma and that he still had his fathers love.

He was in joy when he heard the news that he was going to have a sibling, but the affair between his mom and Shane was still in his mind that he thought his dad wasn't the father. When Judith was born it didn't matter as he loved her so dearly. Being a big brother was the best feeling he ever had and taking care of her gave him the longing of having his own baby. To love someone unconditionally was amazing and being the most important being to them was truly indescribable. 

When you have a bad reputation on you, it wasn't easy dating when people thought worse of you. He thought dating Ron might have been a good thing, but that went downhill. Ron's dad was known for being a drunk who hit his wife and it turns out the apple doesn't fall from the tree. With everything that had happened to Carl, he truly believed he deserved every bit of it. His parents were ignorant to it even when they saw the bruises. Carl accepted every bit of it, not caring what people think, and thinking it wasn't going to get bad.

But it did in one fateful night at a shady bar. With fake I.Ds they got in with no trouble and within the hour Ron was already waisted while Carl just sat in a booth drinking a beer. For some reason he was getting really tired that he didn't notice four men near him, but he did notice his dad. He remembered the uniform and hat that it had to be his dad, but his mind was so woozy he had to be mistaken. He didn't remember anything after that, he woke up what to be a storage room of the bar in pain and sick to his stomach. He only knew what went on when the bartender told him that he went him four men in the room to have good time. Horror filled Carl as realized what happened and his suspicions were confirmed that his dad was there by some people who were there last night. At the moment Carl wanted to die when he found out that his dad was there and did nothing. When he went home to face him, his dad didn't say anything, didn't do anything, acting like everything was normal.

Carl couldn't live like this. He couldn't live with this pain and the disdain people felt when around him. So he decided to ended it. His life didn't matter so no one will miss him. His heart truly stung that Judith was going to grow up without her brother, but it was better this way that she didn't live with his failure in life. Planning it wasn't as simple as he thought it would be since he wanted a painless death until he heard of a drug so strong that would make you feel euphoria as you die called zydrate.

It wasn't easy to find it as no one knew how it was made. There were literally only three people in the world who sell the drug and they were all called the Gravedigger. Each one moved from place to place never staying long, but when the opportunity came that one of them was here he took it. And it all led him to meeting Negan.

It wasn't love at first sight since the first thing Negan said to him was crude that he couldn't help but snap and curse at this man. Instead of being insulted Negan was actually amused by him. After the first meeting began a year long slow burn romance.

Carl didn't want to give this man a time of a day, he only wanted just figure out what to do next, but it kept being interrupted by Negan. Carl was practically sure that he was stalking him, but was proven to be false each time since Carl kept going to every drug dealer that worked for Negan. One meet up had Carl actually steal a gun and threatening to kill Negan, but it failed when it turned out the gun wasn't even loaded. Yet for some reason it impressed Negan and Carl ended spending the day with him.

He doesn't remember what exact moment that made him fell in love with Negan. Just learning about him was interesting enough, but the fact he loved this man and that he loved him back gave life again. So when Negan asked him to marry him he agreed immediately. He didn't care that he was young, but he found someone who could make him happy after his life became disastrous that he didn't want to live in it. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt movement on the bed and soon he was being spooned from behind. There kisses on his neck and a hand pressed against his stomach. Carl closed his eyes and put his hand on top of the other.

"How's my baby boy doing? Negan said lazily.

Carl smiled as he turned around to embrace Negan and rest his head on his chest.

"I'm doing good. How was your day?

"Too long. I'm just glad to be back with my honey."

Carl rose his head to look at Negan. This man saved his life even when he didn't have to and Carl would forever be grateful. He put his lips upon Negan, who eagerly accepted the kiss. There was so much passion between them that Carl hopes it will never be broken. 

They loved each other, they were going to love this baby, and to Carl that was enough.

* * *

 Rick sat with Shane in a booth of the diner that they decide to eat dinner at. He kept his meeting with Carl to himself and not tell Shane. He wanted to figure out what exactly Carl was telling him, but he kept drawing a blank.

"Hey Shane."

"Hm." Shane responded as he ate his burger.

"Do you remember anything out of the ordinary before Carl left?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was there.."Rick almost hesitated to ask. "Did Carl act differently that something happen?"

"Nothing that I could think of."

"I'm just trying to figure out what led to him being here. He was a good kid that getting involved was impossible to think."

"Rick I know you want to think that Carl was a behaved child, but the way he was going and acting out didn't surprise me that he would be in trouble one day."

"What are you talking about?" Rick asked confused of what Shane was saying. He didn't remember Carl acting out, for the most part Carl kept to himself and was moody from time to time. He just thought it was a teenage thing.

"Yeah you know. He was sleeping around with boys, everyone was talking about it so you must have heard."

"Heard what? Why are saying this? Carl wasn't doing things like that and I never heard anything about it."

"Huh?" Shane looked at him as if he was crazy. "Rick there was no way you didn't hear about Carl. Some of the other officers talked about it..." Shane stopped as he realized that something. "They never said it around you, but you must have heard it from Lori. She had to of tell you."

"No Shane, no one has been telling me anything about my son. Apparently I'm out of some loop because what I have been hearing is news to me." Rick was angry. People were keeping things from him behind his back including Lori.

Shane didn't say anything for awhile. There was a trouble look on his face as if he didn't want to tell Rick, but he had too. He couldn't believe that this was hidden from Rick. To be honest he never brought it up because Lori told him not to. He thought Rick knew since Lori said she would tell him, but she didn't and it confused him.

"Rick I don't know how to tell you this, but Carl has been sleeping around with people. It's been going on for a few years. I had to assure people that Lori did give birth to Judith because they actually thought Carl was the one who was pregnant for not seeing him the last few months. I know you don't want to hear this, but Carl is a troubled kid." Shane explained to shocked Rick.

 He didn't want to believe it, he wanted it to be all lies. Shane couldn't be telling the truth. Carl wasn't some loose boy who was throwing himself out everyone. It didn't make any sense. He tried to remember if there was any sign of that, but the only thing he could come up with was one parent teacher conference. He was confused as to why everyone was acting so strange around him as if they were sorry for him, but they never said that it was about Carl. When he brought it up to Lori, she said that it was about the recent passing of his uncle. It made sense at the time because he assumed it was Lori or Shane must have told some people. 

"Lori didn't tell?"

"Tell me what? That there was something going on with my son. No Shane no one was telling me anything. Everyone was lying to me and talking behind my back. Lori knew and never said anything." Rick ranted. How could he had been so blind to what was going on and how could no one tell him? It didn't make sense. "How could of you have done nothing?"

"Rick I'm sorry, but things between me and Carl haven't been the same for a long time. But don't think I haven't regret everyday since he disappeared. I wish I had done something then maybe you and Lori weren't hurting anymore. Especially when he was at that bar..."

"What bar?" 

"You know that bar we always get called to inorder to stop a fight." Shane replied. "Carl was there one night when I just got off duty. He was with some guys and he left with them somewhere. I didn't know why I didn't stop them, it's just Carl wasn't the same boy he was years ago. And I am so sorry that Rick. Please forgive me. I wasn't thinking. I just gave up on him..."

"Stop."

There was silence after that. Shane just stared at Rick sadly and just felt guilt as he realized he betrayed his friend in more ways than one. Him and Lori never told Rick about the affair even though they should have. He betrayed not only him but Carl too. 

"I have to talk to Carl." Rick finally said.

"How are you going to do that? Rick don't do anything crazy."

"I don't believe you are lying, but until Carl tells me what really happened I can't believe it. I didn't know none of this and in my own fault it had led my son to a dangerous person. I have to know what the truth is and how to bring him back home. Not only he is in danger but his child as well. I have to tell him I'm sorry I wasn't there and that I failed him. I have to bring them home and I'll take care of them. It's the least I could do."

Rick didn't say anymore. He made up his mind and nothing was going to change that. 

* * *

 The orders from the sheriff was to continue on. It led them picking up Negan and London from the club to a warehouse across town. It was pretty deserted since it was a factory and junkyard. 

Dwight drove with Negan sitting in the passenger seat. London was in the back with Rick and Shane. She stuck her head out as if she was a dog and for some reason was yelling at random people. 

"London knock it off. I don't want to bring attention to ourselves." Negan complained. He was getting a major headache.

She sat back down laughing and closing the window.

"What is the shipment we're getting boss?" Dwight asked.

"The usual coke and heroine. Once we count what is there, it's shipped off to the others."

"When should I restock on zydrate if you're going to send me out soon?" London asks.

Rick startled when London mentioned the drug zydrate. He had no idea they even deal with that stuff. From what he knew zydrate was the most powerful of all drugs put together and no one could kick the habit since it was impossible. The drug was still being studied since no one could figure out what it was made. All traces of it disappears from ones system after dying an overdose from it.

"I'll get back to you on that since you have several vials. When you have a few sparks left you can restock." Negan replied.

"Sparks?" Rick couldn't help but ask. He doesn't know how zydrate works so hearing sparks was confusing.

"Oh oh can I say it?" London eagerly asked.

Negan nodded.

London picks up her bag and open to grab an empty vial and something that resembles a gun with a needle.

"Zydrate comes in little glass vial." London sings it as if it was a nursery rhyme. "And the little glass vial goes into a gun like a battery." She inserts the empty vial on the gun. "And the zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy." She moves the needle part to her neck. "And when the gun goes off it sparks and you're ready for surgery."

"So it comes in a liquid. How much does a spark cost?" Rick said when she was done. He was pretty creeped out on her presentation. She really was a strange woman that Rick believed something was wrong with her.

"One spark cost up to one hundred and the person has to pay upfront all the time if they want a session. Some even arrange a contract that London calls a surgery which is dangerous on it self." Negan explained.

"Why?"

"Their contract is in mighty fine print." London resumes her rhyme as she puts her stuff back in her bag. "And that mighty fine print puts them in a mighty fine predicament. If they up and split, their eyes are forfeit, and if I so fourth will it. Then repo man will come and they will pay for their surgery."

Rick was trying to examine what London was saying. If a person didn't pay what was in the contract she would send someone to remove their...eyes? 

"It's a bit confusing, but they actually end up giving a body part or organs as a down payment in the contract. That's how powerful zydrate is that people will actually negotiate their own lives for a spark. Basically if they don't give the amount of money they owe, London has every right to collect on that down payment. Now I always recommend these people just do a session, but they always go with the contract or surgery because they want to keep in contact. The reason for that is because Gravediggers like London don't stay in one place. They move around so people don't find them, but like I said since zydrate is one of the best people are willing to sign their life away for a spark." Negan explained to them even when their horrified.

Rick was practically getting sick from just processing what was said. That was insane. People were that desperate that they give their organs as payment. He almost threw up, but held it in as he had more questions.

"What are gravediggers and repo men?"

Shane gave Rick a disdain look for asking more.

"Gravedigger is the name that London and the others gave themselves so they could stand out from just a regular dealer. I don't know where they got the name from. Believe it or not London is one of three because they are the only ones who know how to get zydrate and they don't give out that information. Even though I could make shit ton of money I do not want that info. There is practically a death sentence if you inherent that name, but people aren't that suicidal to go after one.  A repo man is like the bill collector for the gravedigger. They are the ones who retrieves the organs for them, the one London has on speed dial is someone you definitely don't want to meet."

"He won't bother to write or to phone you. He'll just rip the still beating heart from your chest."

London smiled at him and Rick and Shane shivered in fear. They definitely didn't want anything to do with her or the repo man. Just being in her presence was scary enough.

The car ride was silent after that, but Rick still had one more question that he almost didn't want the answer.

"What do they do with the organs they collect?" He asked slowly almost regretting just saying the words.

"You don't want to know." Negan quickly replied to stop London from answering. "Trust me. I know what they do with it and all I'm saying is that you do not want to know. So you..." He gave London a pointed look. "Don't tell them. The last person went catatonic in fear and it didn't help when you showed him either. I was lucky cause I saw fucked up shit over the years so this prepared me."

"How do you go to people who never know what they are going get from this?" Rick just didn't understand how someone would want this. The risk of death was too high and yet people ignored it.

"I don't go to them, they come to me." London responded happily. "That's how we met Carl. Remember Negan?"

Rick tried to process that Carl wanted to buy zydrate. How much did he not know his own son?

"Yeah I do." Negan said, closing his eyes with smile as if to reminisce.

"Carl wanted to buy entire vial of zydrate, but I think the source he got confused him on the price." London recounted on that day. "One spark is one hundred and you can get ten sparks from a vial. So he didn't have and I had to reject him. Poor kid was desperate, but I don't help with those things."

"What things?" Rick had to ask to figure out why Carl wanted zydrate.

"There is only one reason that someone wants to buy a vial and not a spark. They don't have the necessary tools to create their own spark. They are not just addicted to zydrate, but they are addicted to the knife as well."

Both Rick and Shane were confused.

"You can't feel nothing. You could be stabbed a hundred times and you wouldn't feel any pain. They don't feel anything, they just go to sleep and never wake up. It is the most peaceful death one can ever had."

Rick frozed as he realized what she was truly saying. Carl went to them to end his life. There were no words on how much despair Rick felt as he realized he was a failure as father to his own son.

"That's enough of that. Once we get there I want you guys to pack and start hauling boxes to the trucks." Negan ended the conversation as they were here at the warehouse.

They got out of the car and walked in, Rick dragging his feet. There were a few people there Simon included.

"Simon how goes it?" Negan walked up to him and grabbed the clipboard that Simon had. He immediately started reading what was on it.

"Fine as dandy boss. We got the shipment in and it's all there. Our suppliers were thankful of the price we gave them, but they said they wanted to negotiate again when they bring in the next drop."

"Seriously we've done this like three times already. We are not giving them anymore unless they have something new." Negan complained handing back the clipboard to Simon. If it is the same group again that came from the east coast then he was definitely going to introduce them to Lucille. He turned back towards Dwight. "You and your start packing. The trucks should be coming soon so get ready."

They nodded and started working. They were order by the sheriff to follow Negan's orders and work to gain his trust. They don't no how long they would be having to do this, but if they move higher up they would get excess to more. They would be able to get information on where Negan keeps all posts across the country and where their shipments come from. They would have to do is do this kind of work and go to meetings.

But it was still going to be time consuming.

As they complete their task, the was finally over. People were being dismissed and Simon had already left. They stood waiting for Negan and London since they have to drive them back, but at the moment they were in another room.

"Is Negan together with that girl or something?" Shane asked breaking the silence. Their interactions with each other got him thinking if there was something going on. Rick got angry at that this man was being unfaithful to his son.

"Don't say things like that." Dwight snapped at him. "And no they are not. Negan has a soft spot for London, but not like that. It's almost like a paternal thing or something so get that out of your head."

Just then Negan and London headed towards ready to leave. The drive back to the club was quiet if you count London talking to herself every five minutes. When they got there the club was already opened and when the car barely stopped Negan got out immediately. Rick startled as he recognized Carl standing in front of the Sanctuary. They all got out when the car was parked and headed over to them.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine." Carl reassured Negan as he wrapped his arms around him. "You weren't answering my phone so I got worried. I just wanted to go to dinner with you."

Negan let go for a moment to search for his phone in his pockets.

"Where is it? I swear I had it with me." 

London came forward to them and handed Negan his phone.

"Sorry I got bored since I dropped my in the sewers."

Negan looked angry as he took his phone back. He turned back to Carl to embrace him again and kissed his head. Rick had to look away from them as he didn't want Negan to touch his son. He had to fight the urge of forcibly removing him.

"Everything is okay so let's go to eat and head home. I really want to relieve this stress I have and you riding my dick might just do the trick." 

Carl laughed at him blushing. Rick wanted to vomit. Carl looked at them and was disappointed that his dad was still here.

"Alright Dwight I'll see you tomorrow. Have a goodnight boys. Let's go London." Negan said as he left with Carl. London turns towards them to wave goodbye and walk backwards following Negan.

To Rick this was the worst day of his life. The more he learned about Carl the more he wanted to jump off a bridge. He was mentally exhausted and it felt like talking to Carl was getting even more impossible.

 He can't give up though. He was too deep into this and he had to explain to Carl how sorry he was that he wasn't there for him. There had to be a way to get to him without Negan finding out.


	6. Close

Carl woke with sore limbs and beard burn between his legs. He definitely helped Negan relieved some stress after last night. He started to get up from the bed without waking his husband up. Heading towards the bathroom to clean his mind went back to his dad not leaving like he asked. He didn't want to talk to Rick after the last time since there were going to go nowhere.

Carl put those thoughts out of his mind to start breakfast. He had another check up today and he wanted to do some shopping afterwards. He already told Negan that he didn't have to come since he still had to work and because there was not a lot of change after a week. On the promise of calling him if there was any problems, Negan finally accepted. Carl was really lucky that Negan wanted to be actively helping him in this pregnancy.

"Morning baby boy."

Carl turned around to see Negan rubbing his eyes and standing there in his boxers. He smiled as he turned off the stove to greet him. He hugged Negan and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Morning papa bear."

"Papa bear?" Negan question him. Carl didn't always called him by a pet name unless it was to insult. 

"Yeah I think it's perfect for you. You remind of a bear sometimes and you're going to be a papa soon." Carl explained blushing. 

Negan looked at him as if he was crazy and shook his head. He wasn't going to argue with Carl since any mention about the baby practically made him soft. Good thing no one was here to hear that, he had a reputation to uphold.

"Whatever where's my breakfast?"

"Sit down it's almost done." Carl rolled his eyes. Leave it to Negan to kill the mood.

Over the years Carl learned to cook more meals especially to be healthy. Other than spaghetti, Negan didn't cook and always ate take out. He was very lucky that he never had a heart attack with eating nothing but burgers and Chinese food. Negan complained at first that he couldn't eat what he wanted, but Carl win in the end and they only ate take out once a month. 

Didn't stop Negan from complaining.

"You're making turkey bacon aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Why can't we have regular bacon?"

"It's less greasy and we are having egg whites too.

"Than can I least have butter on my toast."

"Fine."

This was a normal morning for them and Carl loved it. It reminded him back when things were good in his family before everything went to hell. He even cooked pancakes on Sunday. Eating together was so peaceful and he could just imagine all the meals they were going to have with their baby. Soon he'll be making breakfast for his child before they go to school.

By noon Carl was cleaned and dressed in jeans and flannel to go to his doctors appointment.

"You got your phone right? Don't hesitate to call me no matter what. When you leave the doctor's office, when your out shopping, and when you get home call me." Negan explained as he got ready to leave.

"Negan I got it already. Don't worry about it." Carl responded. He should be use to this by now with Negan being always protective of him. It annoyed him from time to time, but he understood it. Negan's work was dangerous enough to get enemies, but Carl was lucky that no one knew him other than a regular at the club. Only those who work for Negan knew that he was his wife.

They kissed each other goodbye and headed to their cars. 

For the most part the appointment was uneventful. He gained at least a pound and everything else was looking pretty good. The ultrasound still look the same to him, but at least there were no problems. He left with a lecture on when to take his prenatals and a quick phone call to Negan. He reassured Negan that all things were good while walking in a store for all things babies.

"So no worries?"

"No worries. Doctor said that everything looks good." Carl said to Negan on the phone, going through a rack of baby clothes.

"Where are you now?"

"Hmm planning on things to get for the baby. I'm thinking that I probably don't want a shower."

"Why not? I like the idea of getting free shit." 

"Who would we invite? I don't think anyone who works for you would actually buy things for a baby and would look awkward at a baby shower. And do you really think London would behave herself in a group of people. She only behaves at meetings because she exhausts herself with dancing." Carl has only been to one baby shower that was for his mom who at the time was three months and wasn't showing. That was filled with women gossiping about everyone including him. With the reputation he had people really thought he was pregnant and his mom covering for him. Being accused of being pregnant by strangers was why he was anorexic.

"I guess you're right. We still have to go over what stuff we need."

"Are you reading the books?"

"London is."

"Negan." Carl was annoyed but not surprised. He really had to remind his husband on doing his work.

"Trust me I'm learning. London blurts out everything in the book. I will read so don't worry. I have to go Simon is practically breathing down my neck."

Carl snorted as he heard a voice saying he wasn't.

"Alright I'll see you at home."

"See you baby boy."

"Bye papa bear." Carl laughs as he hung up the phone and went back into looking at the clothes. He really wanted to know what the gender of the baby is before he start to buy all these clothes. 

There was one thing that stuck out to him. It was a little white onesie that was for a infant and Carl wanted to buy it. He wanted it to be the first gift he'll give to his baby and to be the first outfit the baby will wear when coming home. As he went up to the register to pay he couldn't help but notice that there were a few judging stares from some women. He knew what it was about, he was still very young and he looked younger than he should to have a baby. He hated the fact that he was use to this, but there was nothing he could do.

 He couldn't deal with it back at King county, but he could deal with being a young wife married to someone old enough to be his father. They don't go out a lot, but when they do people assume they are father and son until they do any affection that says otherwise. Other than weird looks they didn't have any trouble and for that Carl was glad.

 He left the store with his purchase and went to a cafe that was nearby. Carl needed a sweet treat and didn't have any sickness so he could enjoy himself for now.

"Carl." A voice called out behind him. 

Carl stopped walking as soon as he recognized the voice. He turned around and standing there was his dad.

"Why are still here?" Carl asked shaking his head.

"Please son we have to talk." Rick stepped closer to him slowly.

Carl really didn't want to do this. He just wanted to continue his day without problems, but fate had to throw him into hell.

"Dad stop this and just go home. We have nothing to talk about."

"Carl." Rick pleaded. "I know I've done you wrong, but please don't shut me out. We have to talk about somethings. I can't go home while knowing your here and I didn't help you anyway. Just please can we talk."

Carl didn't know if it was his hormones or he still loved his dad, but in the end he nodded in agreement and they head towards the cafe.

They were soon seated in the back of the coffee house. Rick had a cup of coffee and Carl had a cup of hot chocolate and blueberry muffin. They didn't talk for at least ten, just staring at one another both nervous. After awhile Carl finally broke the silence with a question on his mind.

"How's mom and Judith?"

"They're both good." Rick responded. "Judith just turn four a few weeks ago. We haven't put her in daycare yet, we wanted to wait, but she gets along with everyone. She colors a lot and have been demanding a puppy. Your mom has been fine, but it's still hard on her. She misses you so much."

"Yeah I'm sure she does." Carl said sarcastically.

Rick didn't say anything as he didn't understand. After hearing what Shane said that Lori has been keeping things from him, he wonder what happened between her and Carl.

"Carl please tell me what happened?" Rick had to ask one more time. "There were things that Shane told me, but I had to hear your side."

"What did he say?" Carl wanted to hear what Shane must of said since he probably knew the majority of the rumors. Rick had to at least knew about it because it was never secret. Everyone talked about in public.

Rick took a deep breath to say carefully.

"He has said that you've been going around with boys. That you..." Rick couldn't finish what he was saying as he didn't want to believe it. "Just tell me how this started."

Carl looked calm and just stared at Rick. 

"At freshman year I met this boy." Carl started. "He was a senior and he took a liking to me. He was nice and I was naive enough to think he just wanted to be my friend. I didn't have a lot of friends as I threw them away and I was very happy that he liked me." Carl paused to breath slowly. "It was fine at first since all we did was read comic books and played video games until he got sick of them." He paused again and bit his lip. Talking about this was the worst thing, but he got to get through this. "Then he wanted to do other things, he wanted me...he wanted..."

"Take your time Carl it's fine." Rick said noticing Carl was looking like he might have a panic attack. Carl closed his eyes as he breathed in and out trying to calm his nerves. He opened his eyes as he relaxed a bit to continue.

"He touch me in places I didn't like and demanded I returned the favor." Carl continued. "It never got that far even though he wanted to, but I never let him. It got bad when he brought me to a party one night. He brought me to a bedroom and some of his friends were there. He asked me to put out for them. I didn't and I ended things. It didn't matter either way because the next day they told the entire school I spread my legs for all of them and no matter how much I explained it didn't happen. No one believed me. Everyone including mom and Shane thought I was the town slut and just got worse." Carl finally stopped.

Rick stayed silent the entire time. This is what happened and he didn't know. 

"Why didn't you tell me? I could of helped you."

"You really didn't know?" Carl questioned. "Everyone talked about it even in your job. My teachers believed it as they looked at me in disappointment. How could you not hear anything?"

"I have never heard any of this. No one told me, they never said it to my face, always behind my back. Your mom hid it from me and told Shane that I did know and to never brought it up, but it doesn't excuse that I did wrong to you. Carl I am so sorry. You were in pain and I didn't see it and it's all my fault..."

"But why didn't you help at the bar?" Carl interrupted. He had to know why Rick didn't help him that night.

"The bar?" Rick tried to figure out what Carl was asking. 

"That night you saw me being dragged by a few men and you didn't do anything." Carl explained as tears built up in his eyes. He had to force himself not to cry as he needed his dad to answer.

Rick didn't understand what he was talking about, but then it hit him. Shane talked about seeing Carl in a bar and going with some guys somewhere, but why did he think it was him.

"I wasn't there."

"I saw you. You were standing there and I recognized the uniform. The people that were there that night saw you and heard you say I was your kid."

"Carl I swear to you I wasn't there that night. Shane said he saw you there after his shift." Rick explained, confused by Shane telling people that Carl was his son, but angry that he didn't stop any of it. "What went on that night?"

Carl didn't say anything as he tried to process what his dad told him. Shane was there that night, but it didn't make sense. Carl's memories that night were fuzzy since he was probably drugged.

"I don't remember what happened only from what was said by those who were there. I didn't go with those men on my own free will since the next day I was hurting in places. There were people who saw what happened to me and they said a man who claimed to be my dad was there."

"I wasn't there, but if I was I would have saved you from that. You have to believe that I would never have let anything happen to you. Your my son, my baby and I failed you Carl. Please forgive me." Rick desperately said to Carl. 

Carl put his head in his hands trying to calm down. There was too much he was going through, but one thing was for sure was his dad didn't betray him as he thought. He wasn't sure if he was ready to forgive him, but he couldn't keep hating him. In both ways Rick didn't do anything to hurt him, but he didn't help him either. 

"Carl." 

Carl rose his head to look at Rick.

"How did you end up here? I heard from London that you wanted to buy entire vial of zydrate. Can you please explain?"

Carl took a deep breath.

"It was too hard." Carl explained slowly, feeling drained. "I just gave up. Yeah I tried to buy zydrate, but I didn't have the money. There I met the most annoying jackass I could of ever met. And I fell in love. Whatever you think he didn't do anything to me, we just talked to each other. Negan did not want a relationship with me and I was in a ever state of disgust with this man, but he saved my life and he made me happy for the first time in a long time."

"Carl you have to know what this man had done. The Saviors are not good people they have hurt others and I fear you're going to be killed in the crossfire. No good can come to this."

"I know you wouldn't understand." Carl got up from his chair to leave. There was a lot that cleared up for them, but this was the one thing his dad wouldn't understand. He is willing to work things out, maybe even connect again, but he needs space at the moment.

"Wait Carl." Rick called out and rose to follow him. They both existed the cafe with Rick trying to stop Carl from leaving.

"Carl please..."

"No dad." Carl snapped, he stopped walking and turned to him. "I know you're worried, but Negan would never hurt me. He has done nothing but love me and keep me safe."

"Carl you can't be serious. You can't stay with this man or raise a child with him. Think about your baby, can you raise them in a life like this? Come home and I promise I'll take care of both of you." 

"I am thinking about my baby." Carl yelled at him, he was done with this. He didn't care if people were staring, he had to tell Rick that what ever he was thinking was not going to work. "You want me to return to that hellhole after everything that happened to me. There's nothing for me there, but bad memories. I go back pregnant and people will still think the worst of me. And you want me to leave the father of child." Carl shook his head as the tears fell. "I'm not doing that."

"Carl..."

"You want me to leave the one person who saved me and has made me the happiest person ever. Don't ask me that. Don't think that going back with you will fix things as if it never happened. I can't do that. Go home dad."

"I can't."

"If you don't I'll tell Negan." Carl said firmly. This was the last resort and he knew this could ruin what they could fix, but he needed Rick to give up on him.

Rick frozed. He couldn't believe that his son could betray him like this. If Negan found not only he would be killed, but Shane and his family would be hurt.

"Don't do this." Rick pleaded.

"Then don't make me." Carl glared. "I'm giving you one more chance to go and don't come back. I don't need you anymore."

There was nothing else said as Rick watched Carl leave. There was nothing else he could do Rick realized as his son didn't want anything to do with him. Taking Carl by force would do nothing but hate him even more. Carl was even willing to tell Negan about him knowing that Rick would most likely to be killed.

Rick was going to go to the motel, pack his things, and go home. He was done with this. He would have to tell Shane and Dwight he couldn't do this anymore, they weren't in too deep. He hoped they can forgive him, but he just wanted to go home.

Carl was tired and all he wanted to do was to see Negan. He wouldn't be mad if he stopped by his job and go to lunch. Negan practically demanded he did every day to see him. He didn't want to think about his dad. He moved on from his old life and he hoped Rick would too.

This wasn't permanent. One day they would meet again, but until then Carl had more important things in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended it like this because there would be a time skip.  
> I want Carl to be further in his pregnancy and I have an idea how the birth would go. I just have to figure out how it would lead to there.


	7. Six months later

"Judith come on we have to get going."

Rick Grimes didn't want to rush, but he had to drop his daughter at her mothers before heading off to work. Lori had threw a fit last time for being at least a few minutes and he definitely didn't want a repeat.

"Ready daddy." Judith replied running to him.

Rick picked her up and left the apartment that he was living in now. Once he was on the road he thought about the last six months. Returning home wasn't easy after learning where his son was, but Carl made it clear he didn't want to come back and Rick couldn't force him. Shane protest on ending the undercover work after Rick made it clear he wanted to end this. He was lucky Dwight said he would cover him with Negan by saying he sent Rick back to King county for work. So far there have not been any trouble.

Being back home was a change too. Shane had agreed to stay and continue with what they were doing. Rick didn't like it and felt terrible that he couldn't contact him in any way. Not that Shane wanted him to after they fought. The moment he got he confronted Lori about what was going on by telling her Shane had explain it to him. After fighting about it Lori admitted to covering it up from Rick and making the excuse that it was his fault for not being around all the time. Tired of all the secrets about his son after finding out about the affair Rick had enough and demanded a divorce. They worked it out after a few months and agreed into share custody of Judith. 

Rick finally arrived at the house and parked in the front. He got out of the car to help Judith and walked her up to the door. He felt bad putting her through this whole ordeal. Rick always made sure to tell Judith that he loved her and he would always be there for whenever she needed it. He had to be a better parent after failing to be a father to Carl. He said goodbye to Judith by hugging her tightly and gently handed her off to Lori.

He was glad he was able to resume his job. His boss wasn't too mad at him as he believed that the pressure got to him. So far the months have been pretty good as there wasn't a lot of trouble around. The drug dealers were still there and they haven't been able to make any arrests since any proof of them are gone. 

"Officer Grimes I need to speak with you in my office."

Rick looked up from his work when the sheriff called him. He got up from his desk and headed over there. Closing the door behind he sat in the chair the sheriff motioned for him to sit as he looked grime.

"Rick I'm afraid to tell you this, but officer Walsh is dead."

"What?" Rick froze as he heard the news of the man he called his best friend is gone.

"Sheriff Cleaver contacted me that Shane's body was found this morning in a alley. He died of a bullet to the head."

"Was it one of them?"

"We are not sure. They lost contact with Dwight about a week ago so they have not been getting any information on the Saviors."

Rick stayed silent as he couldn't believe it. Even though he knew what Shane was doing was dangerous, it was still hard to process.

"Rick I'm sorry."

He just nodded to acknowledge as he couldn't find the words. He was devastated on losing his friend who he thought of as a brother once, but most of all he was angry. Angry at himself for leaving and angry at Negan who took his friend away. Months ago he decided to leave and never return, but now he had to go back.

"Sir." Rick said firmly, rising from his seat.

"Yes."

"I would like to request to resume the job Shane couldn't."

"Grimes listen I don't think it's a good idea."

"With all due respect I don't care if it is a good idea or not. I know I told you I couldn't handle it, but that was a lie. In truth I discovered something there and it was what made me leave the first place."

"What was it?"

"Unfortunately I can't tell you at this moment. Even so I would be going back whether or not you agree."

They were both silent staring at one another. 

"There is nothing I can say to make you change your mind?" The sheriff asks.

"No sir."

"Very well. Then Officer Grimes I wish you the best of luck."

Rick nod and left the office. He had to plan what his next step will be. He knew where they work and even though it was risky he'll start from there. Rick felt incredible stupid for giving up, but his son telling him that he is willingly betray him put a blow to his heart. Rick was determined now to get his son back and to stop Negan once and for all.

* * *

 "If I could run a business and handle a crazy person. I could put together a crib even if it kills me."

Carl giggled as he folded the little clothes to put in the drawer. He was sitting in a rocking chair watching Negan failing to put the crib together across the room. Negan had said outright that he didn't need instructions on how to do it, that it should be easy, but it came with pieces he didn't understand since the crib can adjust with the age of the child.

The room was looking pretty good if the furniture ever got finished. There was a white dresser on the left side of the room near the door and across was where the crib will be. Next to the crib is the changing table that already had diapers and wipes under it. There was a shelf on the other side near the window with books and a few stuff animals. Instead of painting it, they put on a teddy bear wallpaper.

Carl rubbed his now swollen stomach feeling the baby kick a little. He couldn't believe he was now almost seven and a half months pregnant. His pregnancy was definitely an experience. Besides nausea he was very hormonal that everything that wasn't even remotely sad made him cry. By his third month he craved nothing but radishes and all things sour. It was weird eating food he actually never liked. 

His body changed so much that he could definitely be mistaken for a woman now. He was curvy with fuller hips and he now grew breast that was at least a C-cup. Negan was the most excited about them and had fun when Carl's hormones made him too horny. 

It wasn't all fun though. He had back aches, his feet were swollen, and he didn't have a lot of energy. There were times when he felt gross and unattractive that he felt Negan wasn't attracted to him anymore. It didn't help of where Negan worked and Carl was really afraid that Negan might do something with any of the dancers. Negan calmed Carl's worries by doing his work more at home, letting Simon do most work at the club, and Skype everyone.

"How's the little guy?"

Carl looked up to see Negan come over to him. He kneeled in front of Carl and put his hand on top of his. They both loved moments like these where they can be close to one another to feel the baby.

"He is being pretty active." Carl answered with a smile. During his fourth month they discovered they were having a boy.

"Have you thought any names yet?"

"Nothing has really stuck out to me." Carl has been pretty picky with what to name the baby. He changed his mind like a hundred times on what name he wanted and Negan didn't help as he gave him several suggestions.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah other than my back. I'm doing fine."

"That's not what I'm talking about." Negan said looking at him softly. "You haven't said anything about what happened that night."

Carl shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it, he wanted to move on from what happened. It wasn't important to him right now.

"It's a lot to go through and I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Negan please I'm fine. I understand you're worried, but I'm really fine. My thoughts are around our son and I don't want to think about anything else."

"Alright, but I am here if you need me." Negan pressed a kiss to Carl and then to his stomach. The last few months Negan has been so involved with helping Carl. Getting the food he craves, buying the clothes and toys for the baby, and messaging his feet when they got sore. Carl understood his worry and for the most part sleeping has been hard, but with Negan he would get over it. 

"Do you need anything right now?" Negan asked. Carl smirked as he definitely knew what he wanted right now.

"I could go for a message." 

Negan grinned as lust appeared in his eyes. Messages has been a activity that they both enjoyed since they couldn't have the animalistic pleasure they have with one another. Don't get them wrong they love the gentle sex, but they do miss the rougher side.

Once they arrived to the bedroom, they removed their clothes. Both nude, Carl sat down on the bed watching Negan grabbed the oil from their nightstand. Negan kneels in front of Carl rubbing the oil between his hands. He started to rub the swell of Carl's stomach, slowly messaging circles. He moved his hands up to message his breast.

Carl moaned at the sensation of Negan's hands. He leaned back a bit and spread his legs for Negan to move up. Negan soon moved his hands to his legs, rubbing up and down, avoiding the area Carl wants him to touch the most. Negan motioned Carl to lay back and soon his hand was stroking his cock while a oiled finger circled his entrance.

Carl closed his eyes panting. Negan was making him feel so good and felt so loved right now. The finger penetrated and was slowly thrusting in him. 

"Oh Negan. Yes keep going."

Soon there were three fingers within him hitting his prostate that Carl couldn't take it anymore. He needed Negan inside him.

"Please Negan."

Negan stood up and grabbed Carl's legs to wrap around his waist. Gently Negan started to push in and leaned down to kiss Carl. Carl felt him fully inside and was still amazed that he could fit.

"You are so fucking beautiful." Negan said as he slowly started to thrust into Carl. Already he was hitting the spot and Carl moaned loudly.

The pleasure was so intense between them that Carl wanted this to last forever. He moaned again as Negan resumed to stroke his cock. He felt the pressure inside him and soon his release came. He groaned as Negan continued to thrust. Carl wanted Negan to release his seed within and so he clenched his entrance around Negan. Negan moaned loudly and Carl felt the warmth of Negan's cum.

Carl soon found himself in a warm bath with Negan behind him. He really must have blacked out since he had no clue how he got there, but he didn't care as Negan's arms were around him. This moment was too perfect.

"How about Rory?" Negan asked.

"Hmm?" Carl responded almost not sure if he heard.

"Technically it was London who suggested the name and when I asked her why, she said it was her fathers name. I never had any children with my first wife, but London is almost the closest to having a kid. Despite how she is, I would have never came out of the depression I was in after Lucille died and I want to honor her in that. You don't have to agree, I just wanted to put that out there."

Carl thought it over and was amazed on what Negan was saying. The first time Carl asked how he had met London, Negan avoided the question. It was a year before he told him that Negan was a gym teacher and London was his student. This had led to discussing about Lucille, the woman Negan was married to before him, and how she died of cancer. At the time Negan was alone to wallow in his depression before reuniting with London, who ran away after murdering her abusive foster parents. She was a important part in Negan's life and thus became important to Carl.

"I like Rory." Carl said. He didn't mind the name and it was considered a potential before even more names came to him.

Negan hugged Carl and kissed his cheeks. He was stroking his stomach as the baby, now named Rory, kicked.

"We can't wait to meet you Rory."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a lame explanation on the reason for the name, but I got stuck and this was the only reason I could think of.  
> I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to lead to the birth and another problem I might have is how I'll end the story.  
> Really I might keep it going till the kid be old enough to go the college.

**Author's Note:**

> Still working on Dark Paradise, but I get to many ideas with this pairing that I need to write it out.  
> Also I don't have a lot of knowledge on drug dealers and how police work so please don't hate me for getting things wrong.


End file.
